Anywhere the wind blows

She says I always walk like I have a purpose in life, somewhere to be.
She says that someday I'll be successful, but she also says that someday I might be the kind of woman who wouldn't care less about family, children, blah blah.
The fact that she thinks these things about me, makes me happy.

But it's pretty much the contrary if you ask me.
They're reading the signs all wrong.
When I'm walking with my brow creased, it's because I'm thinking a seven million different things at the same time, my path isn't defined, I'm just a confused little girl putting on a brave face.
Someday I fear, I'll be left to the streets, with no where to go and no one to hold.
And I also think that someday will take place due to the annoying fact that I care too much, about people around me, about people who love me, people who did love me in the past and people who presently detest my very being.

Sometimes, I just wish for the whole world to stop moving around so much, doing so much, thinking so much and creating a million barriers for each other. My head often interferes in that thought process with a sarcastic 'You're the one to talk' . And snap, I'm back to reality, where me, and the world and what I make of it, are too bothered with each other.

STOP CARING, I wrote big and black all over my note book, but the words just stared emptily at me, wondering why they were even scribbled with such fury. No effect. Zilch.
I wash my face and look around, everyone's busy with their own 'very important thing to do' and though I probably have a million of those, I still find ample time to upset myself over things that seem minimal to others. HOW? WHY?

'Why are you even crying?' he asks me. I shake my head not knowing what to say. I just say, 'Dude I'm crying cuz you let me go, just like the others' He says 'I was never there'

Yes, wow. That made an awesome difference and I feel a 100 times better.

Who knew that caring too much about someone would hurt you this much? I certainly didn't.

I'm tired of pushing my way through this cold surge of wind that's always from the opposite side. Yes, I maybe a wall, but even a wall breaks when there's too much of pressure from the opposite side.

Think of that.