"Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away"

-Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Hey Soul Sister

Alright. You aren't a sister. Or anywhere close to being a woman. But nothing could describe my feelings for you better than the term soul sister. From the moment I heard it, I knew someone would come along someday who'd sing it to me. It's nothing romantic really. I've learnt that, finally. That love, doesn't need to be romantic to be love. I could be more in love with you than I've ever been with any other man, but I still wouldn't call it romantic. Then what would it be? Well I really don't know. And I promised I wouldn't question it. So I won't.
Nevertheless, this is an ode to you, my companion,best friend, messaging buddy, lover, brother, father, boyfriendish something, friend with accidental benefits, my soul sister and finally my Afreen. The only thing you'll never be to me is a mother, because that's me to you and I have a wonderful one of my own.
When I was lost and out on my own and trying hard to put on a brave face and wipe my own tears, you came and held me close and told me all types of assholes exist in the world. You never told me to fall in love with you and neither did you expect anything in return.
Something that started off so small and so unexpectedly, has turned out to be the most beautiful phase of my life. And it's all because of you.
Thank you :)
What we are, the world won't understand. Hell, I don't think we do either. But it doesn't matter as long as we have each other. For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid. Not afraid to let go, because when I fall, I know it'll be into your arms. And yes, you'll probably bite me after, but that doesn't matter, cause I'll just bite you back. Yes baby, for everything you do, you will get an equal reaction. If you spank my ass, your non-existent ass can kiss itself goodbye. And if you kiss me, your lips don't need to wait for much longer. I won't regret it. Not one bit. Nothing has felt more warm actually. It surprises me how comfortable I was in your arms. All the time. And the ease with which you carried all the weight of my shoulders and blew it into the wind, like it never even existed.
The look on my face when you told me that she kissed you was only matched by the same on yours when I told you that he did the same with me. Same night, same place, when everyone thought we were 'taken'. You're most definitely mine, but you sure aren't 'taken'. Yes, there is a difference.
It's funny, how every love song reminds me of you but I still would never want to date you. It would ruin the sanctity of anything and everything that's going on now.
If you ever read this, you'd probably scream 'GAY' in your head. But go ahead, do it. Maybe I am a little gay afterall. And well, so are you :P
They see the change around me too. Everyone does. And it's the good one. The only thing they hate is how often we meet :P Do we plan it really? NO! It just works out I believe, and will they understand that? NO! Ofcourse they wont. I don't expect them too.
Coincidentally, as I write this, I remember and laugh, it's been six months since I met you Khurana. Six months. Feels like a lifetime doesn't it? Everything just seems longer and slower sometimes and then sometimes you realize how fast it's gone by. Confused state of affairs really.
So, before I forget, Happy Anniversary! :P Yes, you can shout GAY again.
We've reached a milestone, and never even realized. That's the connection Buoy. Right there. From the moment you walked into Abhay's house exactly six months back and curtly nodded at me and walked away, till that time when you looked me in the eyes and kissed me on the nose a week back, I have always looked at your face and smiled. Your face man, it just does things to me...
Not sexually. Chill.
At the moment, I can think of a million songs which were written just for us. All the ones I've ever told you about. Somewhere deep down, there is a connection.
How we got here? I don't know. But I do know that we were meant to. Destiny baby, destiny :)
I tried my best to hide my heart away cause I was scared of getting hurt and I still am, but I know and believe that you will never be the one to hurt me or bring tears to my eyes. I gave you a part of me, I know you can break but I trust you never to break it.
I want to say a million more things, but you won't stop texting, and I'm very tempted to text back. So that's all for now. I've given you enough of an ego boost for 10 years. And I expect repayment of some sort, preferably if you could meet me more often :) Dooriyaan zaroori toh hain, par itni bhi nahi :)

Okay bas. Bye.
Yes I lovuu too :P
Mwaah,
Juu/Jutadh/Chu chu/Juggie/Jogggie/Jugni/BALL



"Out of the doubt that fills my mind,
I finally find, You and I, Collide"

Utopia

Someday I'll look out of the window,
And I'll be smiling,
And the tears that fall today,
will be a thing of the past

Someday, you'll realize,
that this face never had a mask
Except that the one that was forced on it
Someday you'll be back

Someday you'll learn,
that trust is a big thing,
and it's hard to put back the pieces,
you shattered every now and then

Someday, you'll know,
you killed a little girl,
lit her and blew her out
like the smoke of your cigarette

Someday, you'll see,
that friend in me,
who tried so hard to pull you back,
and let go when she saw what you really wanted

Someday, You and I,
will be able to define what it is,
define that feeling,
define those 'lovu toos'

Someday, I'll figure out,
Why you came into my life all of a sudden,
and turned every frown upside down,
and then held me close

Someday, I will thank you,
for all the times you stood by me,
and pulled me back from every wrong step,
and hugged me when he broke my heart

Someday, I will find the secret ingredient,
which make your hugs the best,
and your kisses the sweetest,
and your tears the nosiest to me

Someday, I'll hold you all close,
and tell you how much you mean to me,
and wear your love all around me,
so that it would keep me protected and warm.

Someday, just someday.

That sunny day

I'll come around on sunny day darling
When your grass is fresh and green
and your birds sing songs so happy
The songs you sang for me

I'll come around darling
when I can take the heat of the blazing sun
and love it for what it is,
And if that's not love,
then my darling, what is?

I'll come around my love
The day you realize what you've done
I'll come around for sure,
the day you make me your sun.

And I'll wait my dear
for that day to come along,
I'll wait, I'll play that same old song,
till my dear, that familiar tune shows you the way,
And I'll wait my dear, for that fine sunny day.

Rain

He: "well, i can’t stop the pain
when it calls
i’m a man
and i can’t stop the rain
when it falls, my darling
who can?"

Me: My darling, hold an umbrella.

Love Never Dies...

I wrote this piece when I was extremely depressed about my uncle's death...if you have ever lost someone, you loved dearly then you'll know what I mean...

A life of physical existence comes to an end,
but mortality is not where the journey ends,
your life runs through each of us,
and will continue tell we exist-
You are alive in us..
Disillusioned,
Is how,we may feel at first,
not knowing why You left us,
But,
as things get clearer and we get stronger,
We'll know it was,the best that could happen,
because along the way,
we'll cherish your love,much more than we did till now,
It runs through our veins.
Your laughter will continue to echo with our own,
Things you have told us,
Times you would scold us,
all remain as fresh as ever,
like the fresh flowers which you loved,
and the freshness in your voice,you contained.
You are alive in us,
as the force within us,
as the light shining in darkness
growing more with time and never less.

We still have You around us,
You are still here.....