When people used to say things have just begun, I used to believe them. Believe them with all I had. I liked beginnings. But then, I was a dreamer. I believed in happy endings and a knight in shining armour, among other innocent things. Now, it feels like things only begin to end sometime. That's the first thought that enters into my head 'Shit, now that it's begun, when's it gonna end?'
This is what you've turned me into. I'm taking my liberties in blaming and criticizing you, because not in a million years are you going to read this. Finally letting go and breaking open. You've got a hardcore romantic believing in bitter endings instead of happily ever afters. How could you have the heart to do that? Kill the child within a person and develop a hard bitter person. Bitter. That's what I am.
But for some reason you love this person? I question your mere existence. What the hell are you? You love the dark and dirty side of me, and not the innocent squeaky clean side which everyone does. Is that what makes you different?
Is that what makes me love you?
'You're Dependent', you say. Dependent for the plain fact that I love you? HOW?
I'm questioning so many things to the open universe, waiting with my mouth and arms wide open for answers. I'm screaming, wailing. But to no freaking avail. I'm still thirsty. If this means the end, just give it to me. I'd rather just grieve than feel nothing at all.
And for all that you've done, in turning me into this person, The one thing you haven't done is, how what happens in between?
I'm trying to close my eyes and get through this. Help me out
