I believe in you,
Like I believe in rain without seeing the clouds
There's just something about the air then,
Something smells better, tells you change is close by.
You smile, because you know it's on it's way,
You get your jackets out, but throw them in a corner,
Because this time you want to drench yourself in the downpour,
Take in everything that there is,
And you feel liberated and joyous just be smelling the rain in the air.
All this by just believing that it will rain.
How can they tell me not to believe in your love then?
When some wise man said it's the thought that counts, it probably is,
Imagining rain coming close made me happy, feeling and imagining your love in my head and heart is then a feeling of ecstasy. I believe, and I'm glad I do.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
To The Nice Guys I know
This is an old one, but it still applies to all those nice guys I know, the roommates, the friends, the ones who warned me a million times but were still there every time to wipe away those silly tears, for those who put my pain over theirs and for those who let me wet their shirts with my tears and drool :) I love you
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Monday, November 21, 2011
I hope, I wish.
How do I make it go away?
Your disappointment, your pain.
I want to make it stop.
I wish I could reach out to you.
From across this distance,
Reach out to you so that my arms could wrap themselves around you,
So that my fingers could smoothen those creases on your face.
I want to feel the freckles on your skin and wipe away any tears that may fall.
That face wasn't made for tears.
And if I ever caused them,
I would go back push through this distance and make sure nothing ever hurts you again.
Over time, your tears have become more important than mine,
And your joy has managed to seep into my world and brighten it up with a thousand incandescent lights
I wish, and hope, that someday, you find the person who can do these things to you.
And a little part of me, hopes it's me.
I love you, today and forever.
Your disappointment, your pain.
I want to make it stop.
I wish I could reach out to you.
From across this distance,
Reach out to you so that my arms could wrap themselves around you,
So that my fingers could smoothen those creases on your face.
I want to feel the freckles on your skin and wipe away any tears that may fall.
That face wasn't made for tears.
And if I ever caused them,
I would go back push through this distance and make sure nothing ever hurts you again.
Over time, your tears have become more important than mine,
And your joy has managed to seep into my world and brighten it up with a thousand incandescent lights
I wish, and hope, that someday, you find the person who can do these things to you.
And a little part of me, hopes it's me.
I love you, today and forever.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Shadow and Soul
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.
Thanks to your love a certain fragrance,
risen darkly from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where "I" does not exist, nor "you,"
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close and I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.
Thanks to your love a certain fragrance,
risen darkly from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where "I" does not exist, nor "you,"
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close and I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense.
You and Me together, belong in that place.
An immunity to the world and all that jealousy and hate that belongs to it.
I'll be waiting
You and your soul know where to find me.
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense.
You and Me together, belong in that place.
An immunity to the world and all that jealousy and hate that belongs to it.
I'll be waiting
You and your soul know where to find me.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Get Out
I've said it enough and I will say it again.
Just get out.
You're not welcome. You're uninvited, Your invitation has expired and neither of us is interested in renewing it. So why are you still lurking in the corners? Why am I still in the corner of your eye? You've moved on with her, and so has he. I'm the only one still afraid of falling in love again because I'm scared however awesome he might be, there's a good possibility that he's going to do the exact thing over again. So if that means that I have to hide my heart for a long time now, I will.
I've kicked you out, cut communication and done everything possible keeping a stone on my heart. I would like to be friends someday, but that day hasn't arrived yet. Certainly not because, you still don't respect me, my space, my world or anything about me. And till that day, whenever it is, we will remain with this distance. So stay away. I'm happy dancing to my own tunes no matter how much you and 'your girl' think it's stupid.
Honestly, I'm not bothered anymore about what you do. Your life, your fuck ups. I cared once, but you've given me more than enough reasons not to.
So setting it straight, if we've decided not to talk, no matter how drunk/high/lonely you are, I do not appreciate talking/kissing you. I'm trying very hard to wake up every morning and not think about what you both did to me.
This is the least you can do for me.
Regret is something I promised myself I would never feel but it looks like you made me break another promise to myself.
Love,
Your dumb psychotic bitch
Just get out.
You're not welcome. You're uninvited, Your invitation has expired and neither of us is interested in renewing it. So why are you still lurking in the corners? Why am I still in the corner of your eye? You've moved on with her, and so has he. I'm the only one still afraid of falling in love again because I'm scared however awesome he might be, there's a good possibility that he's going to do the exact thing over again. So if that means that I have to hide my heart for a long time now, I will.
I've kicked you out, cut communication and done everything possible keeping a stone on my heart. I would like to be friends someday, but that day hasn't arrived yet. Certainly not because, you still don't respect me, my space, my world or anything about me. And till that day, whenever it is, we will remain with this distance. So stay away. I'm happy dancing to my own tunes no matter how much you and 'your girl' think it's stupid.
Honestly, I'm not bothered anymore about what you do. Your life, your fuck ups. I cared once, but you've given me more than enough reasons not to.
So setting it straight, if we've decided not to talk, no matter how drunk/high/lonely you are, I do not appreciate talking/kissing you. I'm trying very hard to wake up every morning and not think about what you both did to me.
This is the least you can do for me.
Regret is something I promised myself I would never feel but it looks like you made me break another promise to myself.
Love,
Your dumb psychotic bitch
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