Abhay

"If you and I are a story
That never gets told
If what you are is a daydream
I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone

And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Oh but if it don't, stay beautiful"

From the very first time that I heard this gay Taylor Swift song, you were the only thing that popped into my head. Nothing could describe it better. You were that beautiful boy for me from the very beginning.

3 years back, I fell in love with my best friend and I was the luckiest girl on earth because this awesome boy felt the same way about me. He was mature, sweet, caring, good looking and everything I ever dreamt of in a perfect boy. But then, as they say some things are just meant to be in a certain way. I lost the love of my life but was lucky enough to have my best friend back. Maybe that's all we ever supposed to be. Maybe.
But let me tell you this, You are and always will be the sanest guy I ever went out with. And our good times certainly over ride our bads. Most importantly to me, you showed me and rest of the world that I was worthy of being loved, no matter how I looked. Those silent fights with the rest of the world, only we know what those felt like. When the little gangs of people tried coming in between and killing us, you stood like a shield in front of me, dodging every little worry that came our way. I am forever grateful. Without you, those days would have been hell.
We laughed and cried together and been there to weep away each others tears (mostly you wiping away mine, but yeah) When my heart broke for the first time, even though we were miles apart, you were the first one I told. It was instinctive. I knew no one else would be there just to understand what I was going through except you.
As I write this, I feel tears trickling down my cheeks and I realize how much I miss you. Like any other time, when I tell you I miss you, I actually mean it.
If you're the only ex I'm in comfortable talking terms with, it obviously does mean something. You have brought more joy to my life than you'll ever realize Abhay. And I think of you, whenever life brings me down, and I think to myself he'd probably call me an idiot for crying, and so I wipe my tears away.
If it hadn't been for you, I would have been driving myself and others over the wall by doing psychology. You were right, it never was a thing for me.
If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have discovered my love for photography, my love for capturing some of life's most beautiful moments on a piece of reel.
If I hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet some of the most awesome people I know. And as one of them would rightly scream, 'DESTINY'. Yes, it was probably that. From the very beginning. Growing up together, hating each other, fighting with one and another, those shy glances, growing into best friends, falling in love and then ending up as friends who can't do without each other. (I take it for granted that you can't live without me too. Lol) We've lived a lifetime in these 20 years. And I cannot be more glad that you pushed me down the swing 14 years back. Cuz that's where it all started, and from there, there was no looking back. Now that I think about it, I even arranged for the most romantic kiss for you and your girlfriend one Diwali :P
Despite all the niceness,there have been times I wished that you stopped behaving like an over possessive husband, I didn't understand it then, but now I know it was probably for my own good. I've always been the little kid who refuses to understand important things, thank you for helping me grow up. :) It would've saved me a lot of heartbreak if I had just heeded your words.
Nevertheless, you were the best friend when I needed one desperately and my worst enemy when it came to choosing other guys.

I might not have been the best friend or even a good friend at that but I hope that I can make up for that now. Don't give up on me. Your support means a lot and so do you.

That girl with you now is darn lucky and I hope she knows it. :)
Happy Birthday Abhay Prahaladan. You mean the world to me lunatic, and you always will.

I'll always miss sneaking out and meeting you late at night. Lol.

And sorry for the long ramblings, this was long overdue.


With lots of love from home and NC,
Yours,
SUGI :D