That one mistake

The moment it happened, I knew it shouldn't have. It was wrong from the very beginning and it had the potential to ruin something that was right, very right. But it did happen, there's no mistaking it. No point in denying it, pretending it never happened, because it did. And I was ashamed. What was I thinking. Why. How. When my thoughts and heart were so far away from that cold place, nestled (then) cozily in him. It was  all about him, even when we were apart. I missed him then, but that was the time when he missed me back. Where did I lose that person somewhere along the way.. My perfection. How could I lose him.

Will he ever forgive me? Put it behind him? Will he value what was there in the past and forgive that one stupid mistake that I made.. will he.

HYPOCRITE. My head shouts. And hypocrite. That's what I am. I blamed him for not being a friend, for not being the person he was. How could he, obviously. How could he pretend it didn't affect him.

And now I lost him, lost his faith in me and everything that we had. Just like that. Because of that one mistake. That boy who was once possessive, protective, loving, tender and perfect, now doesn't even care enough to pretend to like me. How could I..

But now only time will tell. And only time heal.

How do I do this alone Munchkin? It wasn't supposed to be you. It wasn't.

And I'm sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for hurting you.

Forgive me.