All the things I want to say to you. Well mostly.

I didn’t want us to be together any more than you did I just thought it was nice the feel of the small of your back and I liked talking to you liked the way you thought I was crazy liked feeling wild again because I’ve lost that you know that something that used to thump against my rib cage and make me wanna rip the dawn right out of the sky and tack it to the lids of your eyes and I wasn’t asking for the world you know just the feel of you there and your silence

Because even if we ran out of things to say I don’t think it’d bother me much don’t think it would send my bones to rattle and okay maybe I talk too much and try to connect too much and maybe the line I said about your heart beat didn’t sound as poetic out loud as it did in my head but I’m a zany case of skin and I can’t help it that you make me buzz electric and it’s not my fault that in my mind we’re just two lightning bugs like darting stars in tall grass

And don’t bother with your words I know them all by heart could stick them to needle point and sell them at craft fairs I know you mean well mean the very most well the very most well of any good intentioned backwards glance I’ve ever seen because you really have the loveliest eyes like scoopable eyes like spoon out and set for marbeling eyes like eyes that jelly my knees and make me wanna write and say too many awkward things

And even in this unspooling I’ve said too much and even in this unchaining you are still the silhouette of two arms of two legs and a head with two ears standing in the door frame of a red-light-lit-95-square-foot dorm room with the smell of alcohol prickling your nose and it’s okay this going it’s okay this goodbye because I don’t need to be heart broken to miss you and I don’t need to want to share a togetherness to feel a sense of loss however small however fleeting however inked however creeping it may be.

P.S- Since that wasn't the right time to talk about it, and to your face it would never be, because I'll turn to jelly right there. I just needed to get something across cause I hate regret more than anything else on earth. 

P.P.S- In case you're wondering, I didn't write all of it. Apparently someone feels the same way about someone else :O 

Apologies if I'm coming across as loony. 

Love, 

Ju