To you, my soul mate

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

You left, a little too soon. Sure, you shook me up, showed me what I was doing wrong and made me believe, that somewhere, someone existed for me, and me only. You made me fall for love all over again and made me blush like a love struck teenager. But I was in love with no one, just with life, it's oddities and myself.
But then you left, without warning and without trace of the person who used to be. Holding on seemed futile, and letting go as always, was painful. So I'm stuck again, mid air, in between flying and crashing to the ground. With no promise of your hands below to catch me like they did before.
I will still celebrate every 13th, because that's when you came into my life and turned it topsy turvy. Nothing has been the same since that day, and it never will be. 'Destiny baby' I can almost hear you saying.. but I don't even remember your voice. I'm holding onto juvenile recordings and messages like they mean a lot. And suddenly, in a relationship where we promised there'd be no buts, all there seems to be are clouds of it everywhere.
But again, that's just me. I could really use your stupidity now, your voice and you. Without realizing, you affected my life and little too much at that. And then, just left. Somewhere I know, there is a trace of MY Afreen, I really wish he'd understand that.
Don't let me down like the others did. I've had enough of hiding my heart from the fear of it being broken. Don't break my heart.

And come back,
I could really use your love right now.

+1 and -25

"It's not fair", I cry.
"Life's unfair", he says, almost nonchalantly.
"But..."

It's turning into a rhetorical statement almost.

Losing people never came easy to me. I wish I was one of those, who could detach as and when she wanted to. And hold on for exactly the time it was necessary. And just leave the pain behind as memories. Why does gaining one relationship mean losing so many others? How do emotions and feelings turn into smoke in a matter of a day, or a conversation? And what fueled that fire?

I've been searching the universe for this question and from everywhere came the reply, there's a reason people from your past didn't make it to your present. But then sometimes you just can't do without that support, or smile.
The conflict between my head and my heart is never ending. One fights for the logic that people left you because they had to, when the other argues that there isn't a question of leaving when it comes to love...


But now
The answer is pretty obvious actually.

She fell out of love too.

Quench

You wanted water, I hope your thirst is quenched. Bye
The last message you wanted it to be. How could that happen? It's us after all.
I see you running, towards her and away from me. And you tell me you're standing right there, only trying to build her world again. And what about mine? Are you okay with crushing it with your foot?
I've always been possessive of love. Since I was little, if anyone touched my mom, I would make angry faces at them and bang my own head against the floor. Maybe you're right, I haven't grown up. And maybe when I grow up, I'll kill. Well you also never know who I am talking about here.
So busy trying to build her world that those 3 words just slipped out did they? So easily, when all my trust and insecurities were in those 3 words, how could you just go give them away? Add another word to that and it would still be true. 4 words. 4, my lucky number. Ha.
And then you say I didn't mean it, does she know that? I am tempted to run to her, and tell her myself, stay away, you're only a season. Don't take away the rest of the seasons of his love and his life.
If this means I'm insecure, maybe I am, maybe I always will be. Was Acceptance the part you missed out?
I've cut and pasted parts of life for you and this last thread I'm hanging on after the terrible way it was severed. For you. For you being six, divided by the two of us, making it 3, your lucky number
I do understand math.
And I do love you,
But I'm still thirsty.

Waiting in vain...

Like I told you before,this is absolutely amateur. I wrote this poem for a guy who I thought was my soulmate,and I wondered what he found wrong in me. I loved him dearly but after a long wait of 4 years,I think it's finally gone...

Letters in the back of my book,
Addressed to you-dating back two years,
I've given them more than just a look,
While controlling emotions and fighting back tears,

I just can't seem to get over you,
I have no idea why,
Though the days we spent as one were few,
They all couldn't be a lie.

So many questions unanswered,and poems untold,
Letters undelivered-all waiting for you,
I can't help but break down when memories unfold,
Please come back,please tell me it's still true.

Maybe your life for now,belongs to another,
Maybe you thought,ours was never meant to be,
But let me tell you this,My best friend's brother,
My hearts all locked up,and only you have the key...